Do you know what it means to embrace your inner self? To not go with the flow, because you think it's the only way you'll fit in? I know that everybody at some point in their life has attempted to be somebody they're not; be it somebody famous, or somebody who you just see everyday at school, or around town. I want this blog post to be helpful for you people reading this that are still stuck in a loop of following others, I want you to learn how to love yourself and learn how to flaunt it. I know that I would have appreciated something like this a couple years ago...
I'll first tell you a little bit about myself and why this topic is pretty important to me. It started when I was in grade seven really; my family had just gone our separate ways and now I was all of a sudden living with my mum and sister in a town-home in Hespeler; away from all of my friends in Preston, now unsure of who I was, self-concious, trying to fit in again. In Preston I knew exactly who I was; I had lots of friends, and although I knew I was shy, so did everybody else and I was able to embrace that, I mean, I was comfortable around my friends. I feel like having to move away after my grade six year was probably the worst timing, I was just graduating from elementary school and I was about to go to William G, a nearby middle school. My friends and I were all so excited to finally be leaving all of the younger kids, we though we were so great, almost teenagers and soon enough we'd be in high school. I was so ready for the transition; but my parents decided that it was best for them to separate from each other, there was just too much arguing at home. So my mum, sister and I packed our things and up left for a new home. When we got there at first I was pretty excited, moving is always fun, getting a new house, bedroom and neighbours. It wasn't until the school year, my grade six year came to a quick halt, and summer hit. I then realized that I would not know anybody and I would have to find a way to fit in at my new school. That was the summer I started wearing make-up, I tried my hardest to be "cool" because I honestly thought that was the only way I was going to make friends. When I first got to school in September the worst thing that I changed about myself was that I was no longer the sweet, quiet person that I was at my old school, I followed the flow, I tried being loud and obnoxious, outgoing, thinking that that was what everybody wanted me to be like. It wasn't however, and I stayed that way right into grade nine I believe.
Grade nine was when I realized I needed to change again. I needed to be myself, I had to search deep down for that younger me, I needed that identity back. Why did I need it back you're asking? When now I have friends again, and everything seemed to be going well? I noticed that my grades could have been slipping, I was beginning to get low 80's and 70's which is not great for me, I though about it and came to a conclusion that it was my fault, I was being influenced by my "friends" who I had just started making in grade nine, they didn't care much for their grades and felt that it was more important to hang out with friends and go to parties than to study.
What I'm here to tell you about is the struggle I went through to get where I am now. I want to share with you the hard truths I had to face, and where I went from there. I already told you I realized I needed different friends, people who would push me to be the best that I could be, I also needed to find that little inner self that I once had. That was the difficult part, I already had friends from my old school that I could turn to, so I started to spend more time with them. The other easy part was bringing my grades back up to normal, I started asking for extra help, actually doing all of my homework, making extra notes, studying some more. The difficult step was finding that inner me, that care-free me, the one that I missed so much; but I did it, I started to look through old photos, talking with my family more, and eventually gave up following media, I stopped wearing make-up because I knew that wasn't me, that was somebody I was following (I'm not saying don't wear make-up, I'm just saying that it wasn't for me) I dressed more modestly, I found my own style that I felt comfortable in, I remember before spending hours in front of a mirror in the morn' prettying myself up; now it takes me about 15 minutes because I am completely comfortable in my own body. One difficult thing I had to face when I found that inner-self was that for real, I am a quiet person, I have my own opinions, but I dislike sharing them in conversations with big groups of people, I don't feel like it is necessary. I had to come to face the fact that I am slightly introverted, and some people wouldn't like that, everybody seems to think that being loud, and having an opinion for every little thing is the key to happiness; it's not. You can be happy being quiet, spending some time alone, you need time to think by yourself and reflect sometimes. I love who I am now.
I know that it takes some people much longer than it takes others, but I just want to make sure that everybody is able to love who they are, just like I can now. Embrace your inner self. There is one quote that I repeated to myself while I was going through this time, for the most part it did help me, it's short but worth thinking about... "Follow your heart" it does know best.
I'll first tell you a little bit about myself and why this topic is pretty important to me. It started when I was in grade seven really; my family had just gone our separate ways and now I was all of a sudden living with my mum and sister in a town-home in Hespeler; away from all of my friends in Preston, now unsure of who I was, self-concious, trying to fit in again. In Preston I knew exactly who I was; I had lots of friends, and although I knew I was shy, so did everybody else and I was able to embrace that, I mean, I was comfortable around my friends. I feel like having to move away after my grade six year was probably the worst timing, I was just graduating from elementary school and I was about to go to William G, a nearby middle school. My friends and I were all so excited to finally be leaving all of the younger kids, we though we were so great, almost teenagers and soon enough we'd be in high school. I was so ready for the transition; but my parents decided that it was best for them to separate from each other, there was just too much arguing at home. So my mum, sister and I packed our things and up left for a new home. When we got there at first I was pretty excited, moving is always fun, getting a new house, bedroom and neighbours. It wasn't until the school year, my grade six year came to a quick halt, and summer hit. I then realized that I would not know anybody and I would have to find a way to fit in at my new school. That was the summer I started wearing make-up, I tried my hardest to be "cool" because I honestly thought that was the only way I was going to make friends. When I first got to school in September the worst thing that I changed about myself was that I was no longer the sweet, quiet person that I was at my old school, I followed the flow, I tried being loud and obnoxious, outgoing, thinking that that was what everybody wanted me to be like. It wasn't however, and I stayed that way right into grade nine I believe.
Grade nine was when I realized I needed to change again. I needed to be myself, I had to search deep down for that younger me, I needed that identity back. Why did I need it back you're asking? When now I have friends again, and everything seemed to be going well? I noticed that my grades could have been slipping, I was beginning to get low 80's and 70's which is not great for me, I though about it and came to a conclusion that it was my fault, I was being influenced by my "friends" who I had just started making in grade nine, they didn't care much for their grades and felt that it was more important to hang out with friends and go to parties than to study.
What I'm here to tell you about is the struggle I went through to get where I am now. I want to share with you the hard truths I had to face, and where I went from there. I already told you I realized I needed different friends, people who would push me to be the best that I could be, I also needed to find that little inner self that I once had. That was the difficult part, I already had friends from my old school that I could turn to, so I started to spend more time with them. The other easy part was bringing my grades back up to normal, I started asking for extra help, actually doing all of my homework, making extra notes, studying some more. The difficult step was finding that inner me, that care-free me, the one that I missed so much; but I did it, I started to look through old photos, talking with my family more, and eventually gave up following media, I stopped wearing make-up because I knew that wasn't me, that was somebody I was following (I'm not saying don't wear make-up, I'm just saying that it wasn't for me) I dressed more modestly, I found my own style that I felt comfortable in, I remember before spending hours in front of a mirror in the morn' prettying myself up; now it takes me about 15 minutes because I am completely comfortable in my own body. One difficult thing I had to face when I found that inner-self was that for real, I am a quiet person, I have my own opinions, but I dislike sharing them in conversations with big groups of people, I don't feel like it is necessary. I had to come to face the fact that I am slightly introverted, and some people wouldn't like that, everybody seems to think that being loud, and having an opinion for every little thing is the key to happiness; it's not. You can be happy being quiet, spending some time alone, you need time to think by yourself and reflect sometimes. I love who I am now.
I know that it takes some people much longer than it takes others, but I just want to make sure that everybody is able to love who they are, just like I can now. Embrace your inner self. There is one quote that I repeated to myself while I was going through this time, for the most part it did help me, it's short but worth thinking about... "Follow your heart" it does know best.